* You have two cows.

* You sell one and buy a bull.

* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

* You sell them and retire on the income.


* You have two cows.

* You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using

letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four

cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six

cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly

owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows

back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight

cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of

the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided

with the release. The public buys your bull.


* You have two cows.

* You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

* You are surprised when the cow drops dead.



* You have two cows.

* You go on strike because you want three cows.


* You have two cows.

* You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk.

* You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market

them worldwide.



* You have two cows.

* You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat only once a

month, and milk themselves.



* You have two cows.

* Both are mad.



* You have two cows.

* Come to think of it, they look more like a pair of moose - in fact,

yes they are.

* One speaks French, one speaks English.

* One fights to create a new country, the other won't let it.

* They both play ice hockey rather well.



* You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

* You break for lunch.



* You have two cows.

* You count them and learn you have five cows.

* You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

* You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.

* You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.



* You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.

* You charge an outrageous fee to others for storing them.



* You have two cows.

* You have 300 people milking them.

* You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest and

detain without trial the journalist who reported the number of cows.



* You have two cows.

* That one on the left is kinda cute...



* You have no cows

* The Syrians have one cow

* You convince them to sell the cow to the Kuwaitis with a 50% profit

* The Syrians are satisfied with the 50% they made

* The Kuwaitis are happy because you arranged a good deal for them

* Your commission worth TEN cows



* You buy One Thousand cows

* There is no grass, just sand

* You buy European grass for them

* You hire one foreigner to milk them and 100 Saudis to watch him

* The milk cost you 500% more

* You call it "WATANI" and sell it in the local market



* You have One cow

* You keep telling people you have Ten