EXAMPLE of Highlighting –
Study and Compare
Effectiveness Between the
two Versions
ORIGINAL VERSION of a company memo (main contents)
Sick leave shall be granted to employees when they are incapacitated
for the performance of their duties by sickness, injury, pregnancy, or
confinement, or for medical, dental, or optical examination or treatment, or
when a member of the immediate family of the employee is affected with a
contagious disease and requires care and attendance of the employee, or when,
through exposure to contagious disease, the presence of the employee at his
post of duty would jeopardize the health of others.
comment: This memo has all the information, but there are some problems
preventing easy, clear communication.
Perhaps the writer should analyze his audience better and use language
that everyone can understand (for example, “incapacitated” is not known by
everyone). Also, using highlighting
will make this difficult paragraph easier to read (and even easy to look at
before reading!).
See the highlight version below, which focuses on the main
ideas/reasons of the paragraph.
EDITIED VERSION – Using Highlighting for
Effectiveness
Employees are granted sick leave for these four
reasons:
1) They cannot work because of sickness, injury,
pregnancy or confinement
2) They need medical, dental or optical treatment
3) A member of their family has a contagious disease
and needs their care
4) Their presence on the job would jeopardize others
through exposure to contagious disease