ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS

1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

4. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

5. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

6. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

7. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by  feminine water-power ..

8. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

9. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

10. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

11. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

12. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

13. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

14. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually  do.

15. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

16. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

17. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

18. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when  dead.

19. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

20. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into  a river.

21. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See  I am not injured yet."

22. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

23. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

24. Father : A banker provided by nature.

25. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

26. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

27. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence  after.

28. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

29. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......!